There was a prayer my husband used to whisper at the most random moments when we first started dating:
“Lord, restore unto us the joy of our salvation.”
I didn’t fully understand it then. I remember thinking, Hmm, that’s a good prayer point.. but what does it really mean? I tucked it away, not realizing that one day those words would mean everything to me.
I didn’t know that “later” would come a few years down the road right in the middle of me fighting to get back a joy I once had without effort. I missed that early joy I felt when I first gave my life to Christ.. that joy you can’t quite explain but suddenly shows up everywhere. The kind that makes you see beauty in the most mundane things, where life feels meaningful in ways you can’t articulate. The kind that gives you a burning desire to tell everyone around you about Jesus, because you just know deep in your bones that nothing this world offers can compare to the peace and joy He gives.
That’s the zeal people talk about when you first come to Christ.
But then life starts happening. Responsibilities pile up. God entrusts you to steward more. You mature. You stretch. You grow. And somewhere in the middle of all the “everyday,” you pause and wonder:
What happened to my joy?
When did it slip away?
What stole it?
How do I find my way back to that place where simply remembering what Jesus saved me from being an enough to make me rejoice?
Earlier this year, one thing that tried to steal my joy was the desire to be understood even while I was clearly evolving.. With growth often comes misunderstanding, and I knew that. I’d been here before. But for some reason, this time it cut deeper than I expected.
And if I’m honest with myself, it’s because I took my eyes off Jesus.
Everything else started demanding my attention. My responsibilities. The pressure to please people. The distractions I allowed to stay long enough to avoid the real issues stirring inside me.
Then it hit me.
Ahhh!!! Lord, restore unto me the joy of my salvation.
I need it more than my words can express.
Restore the joy that once anchored my hope and shaped my future. The joy that gave purpose to my heart’s every beat.
The joy that made it easy to believe the best in myself and in others.
Suddenly, I realized how desperately I longed for that joy again. I wanted to feel like a child in the Lord again. Where loss couldn’t steal my wonder or overstimulation in motherhood couldn’t drain my gratitude. Where the demands of provision or being pulled in multiple directions couldn’t cloud the truth that life is still truly beautiful..despite it all.
So I found myself circling back to the scripture my husband once prayed over us:
“Lord, restore unto me the joy of my salvation.”
Restore the place where life feels new and meaningful again.
And honestly?
I’m still pressing..still praying.
It takes intentionality, deciding daily to see God’s goodness in all things, reminding myself that He is faithful, and choosing, again and again, to count it all joy. 🙂
The Joyful Pursuit 